Why do I do this?

I'm planning to run in a 10K in a couple of weeks. I am still unclear as to why I am drawn to do this. I've never been a runner in my life. I get all red and sweaty when I run. I look like a moist cherry tomato with legs. I have been running a bit here and there for the last year and a half and I ran this same race last year. Here is a look into just how unhealthy my psychosis really is. You start this race one hour before the community parade starts. You run the first 4+ miles on steep hills and other long and unholy inclines and then run down the parade route with everyone looking at you and cheering and thinking, "ha, ha. I'm glad to be sitting here in the shade drinking my nice cold diet Coke." Last year, on the night before the race, I had a nightmare that I was running the race and I got lost and then I was the very last one in and everyone was getting up and putting their chairs away while I ran by, embarrassed at how long it took me. Well, reality the next morning was that I did get lost but I found my way back pretty quick. I got lost because I was the last one. Yep. Luckily the parade was still going when I came down main street, though. At one time, I felt like I was going to puke. I think that's unhealthy. When I got to main street, running was out. I shuffled down the street and was SO glad that I had pinned the little sheet to my back instead of my front so that people maybe wouldn't know right away that I was supposed to be in the race and running. (HA) I tried to look like the other people there who were milling around but some nice people noticed me anyway and clapped and waved. I tried to wave back, really but there wasn't any energy. I raised my chin and eyebrows at them instead. You know, the "Hey" look. I couldn't even smile. I remember the pain and yet I'm going to do it again. I guess that crossing that finish line was pretty thrilling. And my self respect requires that this time, I must keep up with the cute little 90 year old man that kicked my trash last year. If it goes well, I will let you know how it goes. If not, well, we'll see.